Do you ever feel like you can't breathe? Terrified and alone - beloved dog has cance

keldexo · 09-01-2010, 04:28 PM

Hello everyone -

I am typing this with my heart in my throat and barely able to take a breath. My 15 year old dog, Kelsey, was diagnosed w/ a spindle cell tumor on his paw. The surgeon felt very confident she could remove it, etc. When we brought him in today for surgery they discovered one or 2 masses on his liver. He is totally asymptomatic with perfect blood work. They never expected this and of course it was a huge shock to me. Now they are doing a CT scan and I am left waiting. My question is - how do you not allow the anxiety and worry to overwhelm you? I have 2 small children at home and 2 other furkids. My husband is away on business. I can't just crawl into bed. And yet I feel the most overwhelming terror in my heart. I am trying to stay positive and hope for the best - and believe me I am very well aware that 15 is a wonderful long life for any animal. But my head and my heart don't see eye to eye. My heart is aching and I can't stop going to that place of worst possible scenario. Thank you for letting me share this. I wish all of you the very best as you bravely face your own dog's battles.

Best, Stacy

TJandDante · 09-01-2010, 05:23 PM

WHat you have going for you is the fact that your dog doesnt know hes sick and doesnt feel bad. This may last for quite a long time, but however long it lasts, enjoy it with everything you've got. Its so hard not to worry and be down but dogs have no sense of tomorrow. They live totally in the moment and in this moment, your dog is good. Don't let medical terms and dates decide how long you can enjoy your dog. Take your dog for a walk or stretch out on the lawn with him or whatever makes him happy, along with lots of his favorite treats. When things change, you'll have time to think about the hard things and take care of business then. But for now, enjoy your "good " time that you have left. We are here for you.
TJ

Raymond · 09-01-2010, 09:01 PM

Oh TJ, sage wisdom indeed. Hang in there Stacy, a large group of people are here for you. God Bless.

Meesh · 09-02-2010, 05:21 AM

TJ has said it best. I don't think I could add much more.
Michelle, Rufus & Hamlet

GemBem · 09-02-2010, 06:38 AM

I am with you on that one....its the most terrible feeling and it comes so quick...Just cherish your furry friend as much as you can.

God Bless you and Kelsey xxxxx

Kind Regards

Joanne

Benpaws · 09-02-2010, 07:59 AM

Dear Stacy,

I can only say "ditto" to what the other members have already said. The word "cancer" does overwhelm us and it is necessary to take a deep breath and enjoy the moment.

Do all the things that make your dog happy and he'll wag his tail and show his approval. Love him, hug him, play with him and as others have said, when the time comes you will be able to make a conscious and right decision for your best buddy.

For now "enjoy every moment you have." Hug your children, your other fur babies and your husband will be home and be a support to you. You are just feeling overwhelmed right now.

Everyone here has felt the same way as you do right now! You are not alone!

Blessings,
Joanne & Shadow

keldexo · 09-04-2010, 02:38 AM

Thank you all so much for your words of support and wisdom. An update: The CT scan showed one single mass on the left lobe of the liver and the surgeon recommended surgery. Kelsey had 2 lobes of his liver removed and also the soft tissue sarcoma removed from his toe through amputation. The surgeon does not think the two cancers are related interestingly enough.

Now comes the "miracle" part - this liver tumor would never have been found if not for the sarcoma on the toe. The surgeon was confident the sarcoma on the toe hadn't spread so she never expected to find anything elsewhere in his body. But in the preop staging, they did the ultrasound of the belly and voila. The lump was on the very "best" part of the liver - the lower left - and she was able to get a very good margin. She told me that when she went in to remove the mass, it exploded as she began to dissect it. She believes it would have exploded on its own if it wasn't found and Kelsey would have presented w/ massive internal bleeding.

Now we wait for the pathology to come back. But we are hopeful for at least another 9 months to a year with our boy. If the tumor hadn't been found, we never would have had the option of surgery. Also, there is no spleen involvement, etc. and no evidence of metastis.

He is home tonight with me and I can't stop kissing him and holding him. He is groggy from his meds and still hasn't much of an appetite but he is drinking and even pooped!

As we face the wait now for pathology, I am going to hold on to all of the wonderful wisdom you gave me and cherish every moment we have together. The surgeon said she couldn't believe how lucky we were to have found and removed the mass before it was too late.

Meesh · 09-04-2010, 05:47 AM

I truly believe that "things happen for a reason" and while the news was heart wrenching, it was fortunate to have received it when you did. Sending you positive energies for good news on the pathology and wish you the best of luck in all this.
Michelle, Rufus & Hamlet

Benpaws · 09-04-2010, 08:16 AM

I say "ditto" to what Michelle has said and I sincerely believe that "Everything happens for a reason" also.

Enjoy each wonderful moment and give lots of love and hugs.

I have confidence that the pathology report will be GOOD!

Prayers to you,
Joanne & Shadow

Lee-Anne · 09-04-2010, 06:52 PM

Wow...wonderful news. I was wondering, is it common for something like that to explode? My Sophie has liver cancer & the internal bleeding was never told to us as a complication.
I am so happy for your news. Although there is no hope for my pet, you did everything you could & the results are amazing!!! Thanks for sharing.

09-01-2010, 04:28 PM	#1 (permalink)
keldexo Junior Member Join Date: Sep 2010 Posts: 3	Do you ever feel like you can't breathe? Terrified and alone - beloved dog has cance Hello everyone - I am typing this with my heart in my throat and barely able to take a breath. My 15 year old dog, Kelsey, was diagnosed w/ a spindle cell tumor on his paw. The surgeon felt very confident she could remove it, etc. When we brought him in today for surgery they discovered one or 2 masses on his liver. He is totally asymptomatic with perfect blood work. They never expected this and of course it was a huge shock to me. Now they are doing a CT scan and I am left waiting. My question is - how do you not allow the anxiety and worry to overwhelm you? I have 2 small children at home and 2 other furkids. My husband is away on business. I can't just crawl into bed. And yet I feel the most overwhelming terror in my heart. I am trying to stay positive and hope for the best - and believe me I am very well aware that 15 is a wonderful long life for any animal. But my head and my heart don't see eye to eye. My heart is aching and I can't stop going to that place of worst possible scenario. Thank you for letting me share this. I wish all of you the very best as you bravely face your own dog's battles. Best, Stacy

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09-01-2010, 05:23 PM	#2 (permalink)
TJandDante Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 355	WHat you have going for you is the fact that your dog doesnt know hes sick and doesnt feel bad. This may last for quite a long time, but however long it lasts, enjoy it with everything you've got. Its so hard not to worry and be down but dogs have no sense of tomorrow. They live totally in the moment and in this moment, your dog is good. Don't let medical terms and dates decide how long you can enjoy your dog. Take your dog for a walk or stretch out on the lawn with him or whatever makes him happy, along with lots of his favorite treats. When things change, you'll have time to think about the hard things and take care of business then. But for now, enjoy your "good " time that you have left. We are here for you. TJ

09-01-2010, 09:01 PM	#3 (permalink)
Raymond Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Soap Lake, WA Posts: 264	Oh TJ, sage wisdom indeed. Hang in there Stacy, a large group of people are here for you. God Bless.

09-02-2010, 05:21 AM	#4 (permalink)
Meesh Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Washington Township (Sewell), NJ Posts: 329	TJ has said it best. I don't think I could add much more. Michelle, Rufus & Hamlet

09-02-2010, 06:38 AM	#5 (permalink)
GemBem Junior Member Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: northamptonshire, UK Posts: 24	I am with you on that one....its the most terrible feeling and it comes so quick...Just cherish your furry friend as much as you can. God Bless you and Kelsey xxxxx Kind Regards Joanne

09-02-2010, 07:59 AM	#6 (permalink)
Benpaws Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Oakville, ON., CANADA Posts: 1,696	Dear Stacy, I can only say "ditto" to what the other members have already said. The word "cancer" does *overwhelm us* and it is necessary to take a deep breath and enjoy the moment. Do all the things that make your dog happy and he'll wag his tail and show his approval. Love him, hug him, play with him and as others have said, when the time comes you will be able to make a conscious and right decision for your best buddy. For now "enjoy every moment you have." Hug your children, your other fur babies and your husband will be home and be a support to you. You are just feeling overwhelmed right now. Everyone here has felt the same way as you do right now! You are not alone! Blessings, Joanne & Shadow

09-04-2010, 02:38 AM	#7 (permalink)
keldexo Junior Member Join Date: Sep 2010 Posts: 3	Thank you all so much for your words of support and wisdom. An update: The CT scan showed one single mass on the left lobe of the liver and the surgeon recommended surgery. Kelsey had 2 lobes of his liver removed and also the soft tissue sarcoma removed from his toe through amputation. The surgeon does not think the two cancers are related interestingly enough. Now comes the "miracle" part - this liver tumor would never have been found if not for the sarcoma on the toe. The surgeon was confident the sarcoma on the toe hadn't spread so she never expected to find anything elsewhere in his body. But in the preop staging, they did the ultrasound of the belly and voila. The lump was on the very "best" part of the liver - the lower left - and she was able to get a very good margin. She told me that when she went in to remove the mass, it exploded as she began to dissect it. She believes it would have exploded on its own if it wasn't found and Kelsey would have presented w/ massive internal bleeding. Now we wait for the pathology to come back. But we are hopeful for at least another 9 months to a year with our boy. If the tumor hadn't been found, we never would have had the option of surgery. Also, there is no spleen involvement, etc. and no evidence of metastis. He is home tonight with me and I can't stop kissing him and holding him. He is groggy from his meds and still hasn't much of an appetite but he is drinking and even pooped! As we face the wait now for pathology, I am going to hold on to all of the wonderful wisdom you gave me and cherish every moment we have together. The surgeon said she couldn't believe how lucky we were to have found and removed the mass before it was too late.

09-04-2010, 05:47 AM	#8 (permalink)
Meesh Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Washington Township (Sewell), NJ Posts: 329	I truly believe that "things happen for a reason" and while the news was heart wrenching, it was fortunate to have received it when you did. Sending you positive energies for good news on the pathology and wish you the best of luck in all this. Michelle, Rufus & Hamlet

09-04-2010, 08:16 AM	#9 (permalink)
Benpaws Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Oakville, ON., CANADA Posts: 1,696	I say "ditto" to what Michelle has said and I sincerely believe that "Everything happens for a reason" also. Enjoy each wonderful moment and give lots of love and hugs. I have confidence that the pathology report will be GOOD! Prayers to you, Joanne & Shadow

09-04-2010, 06:52 PM	#10 (permalink)
Lee-Anne Junior Member Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: Michigan Posts: 7	Wow...wonderful news. I was wondering, is it common for something like that to explode? My Sophie has liver cancer & the internal bleeding was never told to us as a complication. I am so happy for your news. Although there is no hope for my pet, you did everything you could & the results are amazing!!! Thanks for sharing.