Brunosfriend

thank you for giving an opportunity to express grief over our canine loss.

I had to make the most difficult decision I can recall yesterday, when I had to put down Bruno. He was diagnosed with cancer about a month ago, when a tumor on his spleen had ruptured, and I agreed to have it removed since I was not ready then to say goodbye. Estimates were that he had 4-6 months, but that was not to be. Two days ago, when I came home from work, he collapsed after I gave him a gravy soaked treat. I rushed him to the vet, where they told me he had internal hemoraging, with irregular heartbeat. They were able to revive him with fluids but warned me this would happen again, and they could not perform surgery.I asked if they could discharge him for a night, so that I could get one last day with him.

I tried to spoil him and give him lots of love, but it could not compensate him for the life of unconditional love he gave me, even through some very difficult years. So I have been in bed since his parting, and havent been able to eat for over 30 hours. My other dog has been lying at the corner of the bed shivering, raising her nose to try to smell if Bruno is around, jumping off the bed nervously if I reach out to her. They had been together for 10 1/2 years. It will be difficult for both of us.

coralee161

Hi,

Am so sorry to hear your news. Its happened to me on Friday 28th too. Same as you virtually. Had the Spleen removed she came home doing fine then downhill fast......such a shock 5 weeks ago I had a healthy 6 year old Chinese Crested now shes gone. The pain is awful. I have put a photo of her with the first rose to bloom in my garden this year and am waiting for her ashes to come back to me.........she wont leave me again. Take each day as it comes. Give your other dog loads of love and comfort eachother which is what Ive done. Take it easy.

Benpaws

Dear Friend,
There are no words to help you through this immense pain you are feeling. The loss is so great and your emotions are all over the place and your heart is breaking into a million pieces. I too spent days in bed when Benny was no longer with me. I have suffered from depression and Benny never left my side when I wanted to shut out the worldand BOY, when Benny died, I didn't want to see the sun ever again.
Be patient with yourself but know that your other dog is also grieving the loss and missing Bruno. We had the same thing occur in 1997 when our beloved 10 1/2 year old schnauzer Wolfgang died leaving behind his brother Willie who looked everywhere for Wolfgang, whimpering and hiding away and sitting in front of us for ANSWERS. It was a terribly difficult and sad time and took quite awhile to work through.
Please come here and share your feelings and let everyone help. Many of us have traveled the same road and know the severity of the pain your are experiencing. Hug your dog at the end of the bed with all your might and cry.
Crying is okay.

In Friendship,
Joanne & Shadow

TJandDante

I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved friend. There are no words that will comfort you right now, but know that we have been through just what you have, and know exactly what you are feeling. At your stage, I didnt know if I would want to eat again, or be able to face the day without tears. You can't even begin to talk about your dog without breaking down. It seems impossible, but those days will pass and you will VERY SLOWLY start to feel better.
Please stick around, take comfort from those of us who have gone before you, and one day soon you will be able to offer hints and support and comfort to others.
God Bless
TJ

Brunosfriend

Forty years ago the Bee Gees asked "how can you mend a broken heart" and and I dont think there has ever been a satisfactory answer.

It is so many things going on at the same time.The fact that you have to make the decision to end your best friends life. Its the never seeing him again, the question did I do everything I could, and did I miss some earlier waring signs. Or did I expose him to something that caused the cancer, did I cause him undue stress? I certainly did know I would not be ready when the day came.

Benpaws

Dear Friend,

You are asking yourself all the questions many of us have asked ourselves when our puppies have left us. The fact is, you have NO IDEA how Bruno got his cancer and it was not your fault. He loved you unconditionally because that is exactly how dogs love, even those unfortunate dogs who are not treated well.

You gave Bruno a loving home and he KNEW he was loved and wanted. You cannot live with guilt.

Your time with Bruno was cut very short after discovering the cancer and that is very difficult. Some of us have had more time to digest the whole situation and spend more time with our beloved companions. Still, in the end, the most selfless and devastating decision must be made to put our best friend out of his/her earthly pain and "let go." Letting go is the hardest thing to do when you have loved one so important to your life and well-being. The day my husband and I took Benny for his final trip to the vet was filled with despair and hopelessness. The tumours on his side had grown so large and ugly and were open and bleeding and we had to handle him gently as he was put on the table. We got to spend time with him telling him how special he was and how much we would miss him and that everything would be okay. But, it was not okay and the tears fell like rain and I am crying now at the mere remembrance of that awful day when we said GOODBYE to such a special friend! He was only 6 and we thought we would grow old with him.

I never thought my heart would mend, but as TJ says, it takes time and eventually the tears are less and you can feel joy again but you will forever remember that special fur boy or fur girl who had a unique place in your heart.

Take care of yourself during this sad time and hug your other dog and talk about Bruno and remember the good times and there were many.

I know we made the right decision for Benny but for us it was like a knife through our hearts. The pain still comes and goes, but Benny is free from pain and I know I will see him again.

Prayers go out to you at this time.

Blessings,
Joanne & Shadow

Meesh

My sincerest sympathies on Bruno's passing. He sounds like a very special friend. Please stop second guessing yourself. You did do everything in your power to give him the best life possible; we all do. Re-focus the guilt energy to living as Bruno would have wanted you and his pal to do. Our babies want us happy!
Michelle, Rufus & Hamlet

Brunosfriend

Thanks so much for the words of support. I realize I had not been able to share our story of dealing with Brunos cancer, it all happened so quickly. I had an appointment to discuss chemotherapy, three days after I had to let him go. But no matter how long I had him it would never have been long enough and the inevitable would still come. He is in spirit always with me.