cwistyred

My beautiful Heidi passed over yesterday. We had to end it although my selfsh side didn't want to let her go. She was so good and let us lift her into the back of my husband's old pickup truck. He rode in the back with her as we went to the hospital. She was in her glory and loved the ride with the wind blowing through her fur. Her loving gaze at my husband was astonishing. She looked happier than she had for a long time. As I watched her and my husband through the rear view mirror I couldn't believe how peaceful she was. I just wanted to keep driving right past the Vet and make this moment last forever. I was taking her to her death and she was nothing but love and dignity. We let them end her life in the back of the truck in the sunshine. She licked the Vet tech putting in the line. She stared into my husband's eyes as her life drained away, as he told her he loved her. I wailed like a coward. It was over in a moment. My loyal girl trusted us to the end and although it was the right thing to do, I still feel I betrayed her. I couldn't save her life from hemangiosarcoma and I couldn't be as brave or as dignified as she was.
God Bless Dogs. They represent all the goodness in the world.

May God grant everyone on this website good health, serenity, strength and dignity,
christy

mybordercolliemyheart

And I cry once ,ore as I read your words. You were not a coward...crying at the loss of your beloved Heidi showed the depth of your love...In the end I guess that makes us all cowards. You did not betray her, You gave her ecery fighting chance, but its normal to have that feeling as we all have felt guilty un the end. God bless you and your family.

__________________
Lisa and Bing in spirit

Stetsonsmom

Oh no, I'm so sorry Christy. Heidi is no longer in pain, and she hasn't left you, she's still watching over you. You didn't fail her. If there were a way to cure canine cancer, this forum wouldn't need to exist.

Raymond

I don't know why I keep reading these stories. They just make be bawl my eyes out. God bless you and your Heidi. You did the right thing, don't second guess yourself. Now go grieve. Your heart is broken and it will take time. It's been almost three years since I lost my Larry boy and I still get emotional when I read about others loss.

Benpaws

Like the others I too cry my eyes out when I read these stories and know how you are feeling and it brings back that awful, but beautiful Spring day when Benny crossed over Rainbow Bridge.

I can picture Heidi in the back of that pick-up truck looking adoringly at your dear husband and just living in that moment with the wind blowing her beautiful fur.

She was a like a little child right up until the end of her life. Dogs are just amazing creatures. Don't berate yourself for your tears, they will come often and for a long time as you remember your Heidi. she knew she was loved!

My heart and prayers go out to you and your family at this time.

You made the right decision out of great love. You gave her dignity at the end and that is how she lived her life even through the cancer.

Thank you for sharing your story with us all.

Blessings,
Joanne & Shadow

Anner1

I am so so sorry to hear of your loss. I lost my Bliss 11 days ago and the pain is still so raw. You were absolutely not a coward, in fact the opposite, you put your girls feelings before your own. But it is so bloody hard , I know I feel the guilt of not being able to save her , and perhaps I should have given her a bit longer. I think that's natural and most people go through these emotions. But I know in my heart I did the right thing, as did you. Take care Anne xx

Wendy

I am so very sorry to hear about Heidi. My heart breaks every time I hear we have lost another beloved furry family member. Some days hope is difficult to find when we are dealing with such a terrible disease. My tears are falling for you. You fought hard for your Heidi and did the absolute best you could so don't second guess or doubt yourself. I only hope I have the strength to do the right thing when Tanners time comes.
God bless and take care,
Wendy and Tanner

connib

We lost our beloved Ivy this past Monday and your story touched my heart because my girl was so happy when the vet walked in. I think she knew she was going to be out of pain. The look in her eyes was excitement...so very different than that morning.My husband held her and I waited...I could not bear to say goodbye. She was his girl, and they needed that time together. I really miss her, but I know we had to do what was best for her.